Life lessons from a half marathon
Aloha everyone,
I hope you are all doing beautifully well, and I hope your weeks are off to lovely starts.
This past weekend, I ran the Hapalua Half Marathon in Waikiki with two of my favorite people on the planet. We sporadically signed up two weeks ago when we were all out to dinner and enjoying some soju at a local Korean BBQ joint. Although this was a tipsy decision, I do have to say this was one of the better drunken decisions I’ve made.
We lightly trained over these past two weeks, and went into yesterday’s run with great excitement and a “here goes nothin’” perspective. Honestly, it was an absolute blast.
In preparation for the run, I spent time with myself in thinking of how I want to approach it, thinking through my goals, aspirations, and motivations. With a lot on my mind the past couple of weeks anyway, the timing of this run came out to be perfect as it provided me with a reflective opportunity to check back in with myself, reset, recenter, and refocus.
As I prepared and trained, I settled on my goals for the half marathon to be:
Under 11:00 per mile average pace
Less than 2 hour, 30 minute finishing time
No walking
I wanted to focus my own attention and motivation on encouraging myself, rather than competing with others. I’m typically not highly-motivated by external competition; rather, I often challenge myself to compete against the negative thinking that often resides within my personal headspace. Thus, the goals I set for this weekend’s half marathon helped me to focus on what I can control, keeping me within a mental perspective of cheering on my own self and working with myself as opposed to against it.
We got up at 3 am, ate a quick breakfast, traveled to Honolulu, met with our friends, and made our way to the start of the race by 5 am to stretch and start getting ready. Promptly at 6, the race began, and so did Cowboy Carter in my headphones.
We were off.
And before I knew it, the three miles were done because most of this time was spent trying to dodge other runners as we all were figuring out our pacing. Once the fourth and fifth miles began, I was able to start settling into my pace around other runners in a similar speed category as me, and I was finally able to begin mentally diving into my headspace for the day.
Throughout the remaining miles, here’s what I learned:
1) You can always take one more step.
Many times throughout the race, I wanted to give up. There were a number of moments that I wanted to simply stop, or at least start walking. I wrestled with my own headspace quite a bit, and this was a major mental barrier that I encountered (see the second lesson I learned for more info).
A few weeks ago, one of my CrossFit friends recently shared with me her perspective for navigating through and challenging herself during particularly rough workouts. She tells herself, “Just one more rep. You can always do one more rep.”
During the half marathon, I adopted this perspective. Any time that I wanted to start giving up, I asked myself, “Can you take one more step?” And before I even finished asking myself this question, another step was already taken. And then another. And another.
Running the race helped to remind me of the power of just keep going. Don’t think, just do.
Of course, there will be moments when we need to stop. And that’s okay. Everyone needs breaks (and the race eventually ends). Yet throughout this process, the practice of discipline can be one of beautiful importance. And we can apply this discipline throughout all aspects of our life — with work, relationships, friendships, hobbies, etc. When it gets challenging, acknowledge the challenge. Let it be hard. Ask yourself if you can take one more step. If so, take it. If not, recognize that’s okay, and stop when you need to.
2) Our internal monologue can be our greatest barrier or biggest cheerleader.
Piggy-backing off the first point, this was a major notion I was reminded of during this weekend’s race.
The mind is the most powerful tool, resource, and weapon that we have. It can help us or hurt us. It can benefit us or harm us. It’s powerful, and what’s even more wild is that we personally have tremendous influence in directing the power we want to attribute to it and the direction we want that power to be.
There were many times throughout this run when I noticed my default mindset wanting to act as a barrier or a headwind to my progress. As someone who struggles with a naturally-depressive headspace, my negative thought tendencies really wanted to make themselves known throughout the 13.1 miles. I acknowledged when this was happening, and I allowed them a bit of space to be present. I didn’t want to shut them out or force them away because we know that doing so only makes those negative thoughts that much stronger.
Still, once I acknowledged the presence of these negative thoughts, I tapped into my reframing technique skillset to flip the script. I started to look at how far I already ran (‘woah, those first 3 miles went by fast… only ten more to go…’). I started to recognize my successes (‘hey, that was a great pace that last mile, great job’). And I started to speak more gently with myself (‘okay buddy, you got this, keep going’).
In the end, I found that when I ran alongside myself to cheer myself on, I felt better and I did better.
This reminded me of the fact that (as cheesy as it sounds) a positive mindset is one that lends to better results.
And this leads me to the last lesson:
3) Comparison only slows you down. Celebration speeds you up.
When we compare ourselves to others, our brains double-down on where we perceive ourselves to be lacking. We highlight what we perceive to be our flaws. We focus on what’s “wrong” and what we wish was different about ourselves.
Even more, we end up judging others in the process, leading to us bringing a negative energy to ourselves, the people around us, and the entire spaces we are occupying.
There were a few times throughout the half marathon when I noticed I was comparing myself to others. Sometimes, I’d find myself to be crapping on myself for not being as fast as others. Sometimes, I’d recognize that I was essentially saying “ha” to people I was passing by. I quickly recognized these judgments, and I snapped myself back into a healthier headspace.
I knew that these comparisons were coming from my own internal insecurities, and I knew this because I’ve been spending a lot of personal time of exploring comparison and insecurities within myself over the past few weeks. Because of the recent work I’ve been doing, I knew that not only was comparison unkind to others (and to myself), but I also knew it was unproductive, so I started replacing these thoughts with ones of celebration, both of others and of myself.
As I ran alongside others, I mentally began congratulating them on making it another step. As runners passed me by, I said “hell yeah, good for you” in my head. As I passed others, I whispered “great job” — sometimes, I said it loud enough for them to hear. There was one particular woman who was absolutely crushing it, and I gave her a big ‘ole cheer.
The reframing of this mindset from one of judgment and criticism to one of embrace and celebration served as a source of fuel to help me pick up my own pace, continue with the endurance, and have fun along the way. This allowed me to show up with a more positive energy that’s naturally aligned with my true genuine self. And that’s the energy I always want to be exhibiting.
This reminded me that comparison is futile — it doesn’t lead to anywhere beneficial or productive. Instead, when we flip our tendency of comparison around into an opportunity to celebrate others and ourselves, we can cultivate a productive energy that fuels us all forward even further.
I’m so fucking proud of my friends, and I’m so incredibly grateful for the support system we have who showed up to cheer us on. This was an absolute blast, and I’m already excited for the next time we get to do something similar.
I went into race day wanting to challenge myself, and I’m blessed to have succeeded in that goal. I’m grateful for a healthy body that allowed me to achieve my desired time, and I’m so thankful to live in a community that celebrates each other.
I hope these lessons that I was reminded of over the weekend can be helpful for you, too.
Stay proud of yourself, and keep pushing yourself. If you believe it to be possible, it can be possible. Remember, your brain is stronger than you think — and you are too.
All my love,
Kevin